BROKEN TRUST!

BROKEN TRUST......ever been there?

BROKEN TRUST......ever spent sleepless nights because of it?

BROKEN TRUST......ever felt your stomach eat itself through the lining?

BROKEN TRUST......ever been so confused with what is real and what is not ?

BROKEN TRUST......ever feel like your entire world has just turned upside down?

BROKEN TRUST......ever feel like dieing?

If you have been there so to speak, then you know what it means to suffer from a trust betrayal, or BROKEN TRUST. For lack of a better word. It just plain SUX!

I want to say that we need to experience a broken trust in order to really be able to appreciate an unbroken trust, but this is not so. There are some experiences in life that no one deserves to experience and dealing with a BROKEN TRUST is certainly one of the top ten.

Some people go through their lives never experiencing the feelings of betrayal or deception or a BROKEN TRUST. For them life is always good and on an even keel. They cannot even imagine what others, that have had even one of those experiences, is feeling or trying to explain.  Have you ever just been totally blinded by your affection with another that you over look every warning sign.? Have you caught a glimpse of a warning sign, and when confronting your partner about it, you believe them after some discussion, but still have a lingering feeling of doubt? Have you ever came upon warning signs that are as real as your hand and when you tried to question them about it, you were made to feel like you were doing something wrong even thinking that they had anything to do with it, yet in your guts you could not feel that you were wrong?
Have you ever brought solid issues up to your partner, because you just need to know, and all they do is get angry and accuse you of not trusting them?

In all these scenarios, the partner being confronted is either guilty, or not.
They could be guilty but with an honest excuse. They could be very good at playing the reverse the attack game, making you feel like you are the wrong doer in the end. Or they just plain pretend that they have no clue what you are talking about and ignore it altogether, again making you out to be the problem if you persist to question.
When you love someone, it does not mean that you should turn a blind eye and agree with their every thought or decision. You, as your own person have choices. If you feel threatened or betrayed, you have the right to clear up those feelings. Just because you question your partner about an issue does so not mean that you lack TRUST or LOVE. Matters of the heart are very tricky to deal with. One can become very defensive and take any question as a personal attack. That is why emotional wars in any relationship are so draining and confusing.    No one wants to mistrust their partner, but what is one to do when certain signs keep coming up time and time again? Love is only so blind. Some people go through life succeeding in their game of denial or turning the tables to suit themselves. Those types are the hardest people to deal with in a relationship. Eventually you are always the one that ends up feeling hurt  and accused of not trusting.. Not only hurt by what you feel is wrong but also, you feel defeated in what you feel and believe is right. Because of your love for your partner and the desire to keep things happy, you stay quiet and try to "Let it go". Then you find yourself mistrusting even more because you are forced to decide about things in your own mind, for fear of being wrong again. This is where a communication break down occurs between two people in a relationship. Once that happens, both parties are on separate roads going separate places and sometime never ever meeting on the same road again.
If you are any of these personalities listed above and you care about your partner, then you must not let communication fall to the way side. Also you must not take it as a personal attack, but more of a person crying for help. It is them that is suffering from a BROKEN TRUST and they are in need of your patience and understanding. They are not enjoying their torture at all. In some ways they are trying to share the pain with you. I know that sounds a bit confusing , but to be human is to be a confusion.
Life can be so good when we have no BROKEN TRUST issues to deal with. Also we need to respect one another and not add to the confusion of a "Normal" relationship by deceiving or belittling our partner. Relationships are at their best when both partners are at peace and respect one another!  

DorothyL

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COMMENT: BROKEN TRUST has effected me so deeply that I had to take the time to comment here - I cannot begin to tell you how insightful, painfully honest, and truly heart-wrenching - but so helpful and actually just what I desperately needed to reaffirm my belief in myself and validate my own feelings. I have been fighting my son's father for the past year in an unbelievably traumatizing custody battle that has resulted in several people betraying me, blindsiding me, breaking TRUST in seconds that took me years to build up... I feel like nobody understands why I'm such a wreck and obviously I don't TRUST anyone right now to really share my feelings with - I feel like I'm trapped in a hellish nightmare that I cannot ever wake up from... Reading your article made a big difference in my day and hopefully I will hold it within me to help me find the strength to carry on and deal with losing little battles as I strive to eventually win the final war with this diabolical man THANK YOU!
-riannak

COMMENT: my husband took on another identity while i was out of country and when i came back he had a new i.d. i hated this. i let him know it. he did it for his own reasons he says ...to me it was a deal breaker/heartbreaker. he was abusive and controlling and mean. i'm having such a hard time with this and it led to him abusing me and me telling the sheriff about it. now he is up for fraud. all my fault he states...we are over but i still hurt so bad...
-patty

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