I live in a home where there is not a day that goes by that I am not hit for anything. I would be scared to come home from school. It was like my family would look for things to yell at me about. I would be too scared to stand up for myself so I had to just deal with whatever came my way. I felt abandoned. It was like they did not even care. I would think to myself “If they did not care why did they take the responsibility to take care of me”. I was a young girl that did not know that I could call the police in situations like the one that I experienced. There is one specific day that I remember.
One hot summer day March 15, 2002, a day in my life, I came home from school. Unlike any other child this was not a happy time for me. I lived with a family that was involved in drugs sexual abuse, physical abuse, and mental abuse. I came into the house to see my mother sitting on the folding chair because our living room was too messy and cluttered to sit on the couch like a regular family. I spoke to her expecting a response when she says to me” Who ate my tuna fish in the fridge?” Me knowing that I did not eat it and that my foster dad ate it but doesn’t remember because he is drunk says that I did not eat it. She then tells me to go into the bathroom. I went into the bathroom waiting for her appearance I stood in the middle of the bathroom floor sweating not knowing what her next move would be. I heard from a distance in my room she turned the television up to its highest level and closed the room. I was wondering why she did that, I then remembered from past beatings that she does not want my little sister to hear me screaming so she will do something to get her distracted. That then gave me an idea what was about to happen to me. She came into the bathroom with my little sisters play baseball bat closed the door and sat down on the toilet. She looked into my eyes and asked me again who ate her tuna fish. I said not me! Then at that moment before a blink of my eye she hit me in my head with the bat as I fell into the tub. It hurt so badly because the tub was marble, but she did not care she kept hitting me. Every time she hit me my head banged in the tub. She kept going. I just knew that I was going to die that day until her husband came and pulled her off of me. I felt that he had just saved my life. I got out of the tub slowly so that I could feel as less pain as possible. I then looked into the mirror to see the damage that she had done to my face. When I saw my reflection in the mirror I just burst out into more tears. My eye was the size of a tennis ball. I walked out of the bathroom to expect to hear an apology but instead I heard laughs from her. I thought to myself “How could someone do such a thing and then not feel bad for what they have done?” I so badly wanted to just grab the bat out of her hand and do what she did to me. I didn’t do that! I went on with my life because in the long run she is going to be handled by God!
I tell this story to say do not seek revenge. God will handle everything. He may not handle it when you want him to but he will do it right on time. I lived in a horrible environment then, but now I'm in a new environment and doing better than I ever thought I could do. Everyday I thank God for putting me hear because if I wasn’t here I would have a day like March 15 2002, a day in my life.
Ashley
Comment: I don't know how old Ashley is but she must be so young. As I read her story my mind kept transposing the face of my 16 year old daughter and all I could see was the horror of what was being done to her. These things make me cry. I just can't help it. Please God, not the children, please let the children be. Somewhere out there a little child is being beaten as I write this - is there nothing we can do?
Mel
Comment: Wow, what a brave and smart kid you must have been to realise that your mom had the problem, rather than blaming yourself. I wish you every success, if you can survive a family like that, there is nothing that you cannot do.
